Actually, there are two problems. Here is the first.
It rains, and then it’s sunny. It rains and then it’s sunny again. And then it rains again, then it’s sunny again. This weather pattern kind of repeats itself around these parts quite regularly.
When it rains, it rains hard. When it’s sunny, it’s really hot and sunny.
Weeds love this!
We’ve all heard of the expression “like watching grass grow”. Here, you can.
This rainy/sunny rain/sunny stuff lasts most of our summer, or “the wet season” as we call it. So November through to about March, as a rule. If you do not keep on top of your weeds during this period, your garden quickly becomes a jungle.
All this should be clear…..
Instead of weeds everywhere…
….and a few wild tomatoes…..
The second problem is getting hold of a gardener. Doing it yourself is clearly an option, but weeds of this magnitude require heavy duty equipment like chainsaws, hedge trimmers, metal bladed whipper snippers and Utes with a big caged trailer on the back.
The sort of stuff that proper gardeners have. And I don’t.
But as you know, we get bombarded with junk mail in our letter boxes, and I was lucky enough to get a leaflet from a local gardener looking for work.
I gave him a call. He came round. He looked at my weeds. I looked at him. He said $40 an hour. I said okay. He said he’d be round next Wednesday arvo. I said great.
One week later….
Wednesday morning, I get a message left on my mobile phone. As you read this to yourself, please do so slowly using a feeble resigned tone….
“Hi…….. it’s the gardener here……. I was supposed to be coming round yours this afternoon to do some weeding………. I was thinking my Ute isn’t very big……. my trailer is not very good either…… so…….. I’m not really sure I can do it……. so ….. I’m not going to come round…… if you want to call me back, or if you just want to chat or anything, I’m on this number. Ok. ……… Bye.”
So there we have it. A gardener, who charges $40 an hour, who can’t do gardening if there is too much gardening to do.
How absolutely insane is that?
Looks like I know what I’ll be doing this weekend…. unless it rains. I’ll be attempting to make this…