The Problem with Gardening in Australia

Actually, there are two problems. Here is the first.

It rains, and then it’s sunny. It rains and then it’s sunny again. And then it rains again, then it’s sunny again. This weather pattern kind of repeats itself around these parts quite regularly.

When it rains, it rains hard. When it’s sunny, it’s really hot and sunny.

Weeds love this!

We’ve all heard of the expression “like watching grass grow”. Here, you can.

This rainy/sunny rain/sunny stuff lasts most of our summer, or “the wet season” as we call it. So November through to about March, as a rule. If you do not keep on top of your weeds during this period, your garden quickly becomes a jungle.

Like mine…..


All this should be clear…..

More weeds

Instead of weeds everywhere…

Even more weeds

….and a few wild tomatoes…..

And some tomatoesThe second problem is getting hold of a gardener. Doing it yourself is clearly an option, but weeds of this magnitude require heavy duty equipment like chainsaws, hedge trimmers, metal bladed whipper snippers and Utes with a big caged trailer on the back.

The sort of stuff that proper gardeners have. And I don’t.

But as you know, we get bombarded with junk mail in our letter boxes, and I was lucky enough to get a leaflet from a local gardener looking for work.

I gave him a call. He came round. He looked at my weeds. I looked at him. He said $40 an hour. I said okay. He said he’d be round next Wednesday arvo. I said great.

One week later….

Wednesday morning, I get a message left on my mobile phone. As you read this to yourself, please do so slowly using a feeble resigned tone….

“Hi…….. it’s the gardener here……. I was supposed to be coming round yours this afternoon to do some weeding………. I was thinking my Ute isn’t very big……. my trailer is not very good either…… so…….. I’m not really sure I can do it……. so ….. I’m not going to come round…… if you want to call me back, or if you just want to chat or anything, I’m on this number. Ok. ……… Bye.”

So there we have it. A gardener, who charges $40 an hour, who can’t do gardening if there is too much gardening to do.

How absolutely insane is that?

Looks like I know what I’ll be doing this weekend…. unless it rains. I’ll be attempting to make this…

Front weeds…look like this again….

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{ 14 comments… add one }
  • Afton March 24, 2012, 7:51 am |

    Ummm, not much luck with the black plastic I see.

    • BobinOz March 26, 2012, 9:40 pm |

      Oh, I don’t know, there are no weeds growing ‘on’ the plastic, just everywhere else!

      • Afton March 27, 2012, 12:11 am |

        Valid point!

  • Dave March 22, 2012, 4:06 am |

    I would be crapping myself gardening there, we already know bob has a tree snake!

    • BobinOz March 23, 2012, 1:55 pm |

      Last thing my garden needs is more fertiliser!

  • Brendan March 21, 2012, 1:44 am |

    Well, Bob, this simple story has encouraged me to start my own business, if I ever get over there. And if I do, I’ll promise you I won’t leave you in the lurch. Too much work is definitely a good problem to have. I started a landscaping business over here in Idaho, but there is just not enough work to survive.

    • Yvonne March 21, 2012, 6:30 pm |

      Oh Bob, you are so right !!!! My garden looks like yours at the moment but the rain has not let up long enough for us to get out and make a hole in all those weeds. Besides, on those rare moments of sunshine, it’s too bloody hot !!!!

    • BobinOz March 23, 2012, 1:53 pm |

      Brendan – If you do make it here, choose a nice leafy green suburb with plenty of acreage and my guess is you’ll never run out of work.
      Yvonne – My problem precisely!

  • beena manu March 20, 2012, 5:02 pm |

    Hahaha…..ho ho ho,really funny n painful too…….
    Now a days,that’s not in Australia, every one face the same problem………..Do it bob, we are with you……….

    actually there is a beauty in that wildness ……..
    Today is the best day
    warm regards

    • BobinOz March 20, 2012, 10:02 pm |

      Yes, today was the best day, I didn’t do the gardening. Saturday might not be such a good day though 🙂

  • Nicky March 20, 2012, 2:51 am |

    Haha. He did say you could give him a call if you just want a chat… maybe you should call him while you’re doing the work yourself and talk him through it! 😉

    • BobinOz March 20, 2012, 10:01 pm |

      Yes, he actually said “or if you just want to chat”. I couldn’t believe it! As if I’ve got time to chat, I’ve got gardening to do!

  • Brendan March 20, 2012, 2:18 am |

    Wow, Bob. That makes me want to get over there now and start a gardening business. I can’t believe that lazy Aussie. Shame and eternal shame!

    • BobinOz March 20, 2012, 10:00 pm |

      Not sure it’s laziness, I actually think it’s picking and choosing the best jobs. Too much work about for them, that’s the problem.

      I’m not kidding, in the past I’ve had at least three gardeners come round and listen to what I need done and they have all said they would get back to me.

      No they didn’t.

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