Goodbye Forever? Who Will Visit You in Australia?

As you probably know, I like to reprint my written articles from Australia and New Zealand magazine about a month after they have appeared in the paper and ink version in the UK. I’m still running a bit behind, but today I have the article that appeared in January’s edition.
Australia and New Zealand magazine
I’ve written a few posts on this blog about making friends and I’ve also mentioned my system for calculating who will come to visit you and who wont. Here’s how I revisited those subjects and rolled them all into one easy to read article for the magazine.

I know that, for many people, missing friends and loved ones and making new friends is a major concern. So let’s sort that one out right here and right now!

Goodbye Forever?

What’s it like leaving family and friends behind? Will you ever see them again? Who is likely to visit you? Does it matter? What’s it like making new friends? For many people these are major concerns when considering such a long distance move as the UK to Australia.

But first, who will come and visit you? Well, I have devised a devilishly clever three point system you can use to predict exactly who would come over. Here’s how it works.

Your likely visitors will have: a) a history of travelling; b) the means to buy the plane ticket; c) the spare time. That’s it! Simple, but it works. Of course, it goes without saying, although I am now saying it, that they should also: d1) have a desire to visit Australia and d2) care enough about you to bother.

I have successfully used this system to predict who will come visit us and I have also used it to work out who will not. For example, a friend of mine hyperventilated so much on a short flight to Spain from the UK that he borrowed a driving licence and rented a car to drive himself back to England. He’s not come over yet. I predicted that. He had a lack of ‘a’.

I also had a cousin who did come to Australia but didn’t swing by to see me. Obviously no ‘d2’. A friend of mine has told me his mother-in-law has been over to “visit” for 14 months out of the 36 he has been here; so a, b & c in abundance. This system has also successfully predicted those who have come, we’ve had six different sets of visitors. Use it to determine who will and who won’t visit you.

And for those who can’t come, there is always the phone. Being a bloke, talking on the telephone isn’t rated high among my list of personal skills. On the other hand, my wife is very good at it. Australia’s national telephone service provider charges like a wounded bull.

I’d recommend signing up for a good VoIP (that’s voice over Internet protocol) service and you will find that what would have cost you, say, $200 in call charges would now be something like $30. And these days with broadband, is easy to hook it all up to your webcam on your PC and now it’s just like sitting next to each other in a room. Honest!

Making New Friends in Australia

Making friends in Australia

Me and some mates go bowling.

Making new friends though, is fantastic fun. Let’s face it, you had your old friends for years, this big shakeup has surely been long overdue?  Here’s a simple rule for making new friends. From the moment you arrive in Australia, never say no to any invite. You will get invites; to a barbecue, to a party, to a local community event, all sorts of things and at times you’ll think “no, I don’t fancy it”.


Just go, you’ll be introduced to friends of friends. Doors will open, you’ll make new friends and your old friends will be history. See, I told you it’s not as bad as all that. I hope I’ve managed to put your minds at rest. But what do I know, I’m a bloke.

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