Anyone who is a big football fan will know and understand exactly what I am about to say. Because I am going to talk about the things we do to avoid hearing the score of the match.
Anybody who has ever seen the episode of “Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads” where they spend all day trying to avoid hearing the result of an England match before the TV highlights were shown that evening, will know the kind of lengths us football nuts will go to.
I know how the boys felt. I remember coming back from a holiday 10 years ago and our aeroplane was landing back in London at the same time as England were playing Portugal in one of the group qualifiers. I had set my video up to record the game and was looking forward to watching it that evening when I arrived home. All I had to successfully negotiate was clearing customs and making my way to the car without hearing the score and I would be home and dry.
This really happened, no joke. As the plane prepared to land the captain turned on his tannoy and announced “Thank you for flying with us today, we are now taxiing and will be landing in about 10 minutes. By the way, Portugal have just beaten England 3-2 in the Euro 2000 match, I thought you football enthusiasts might like to know that’.
Well, cheers mate!
When I lived in England, I have been known to walk through major electrical stores on a Saturday afternoon while their TVs are blasting out football scores with my fingers in my ears making sounds like “bllllrrr bllllrrrr blllllrrr!” Yes, I did get some strange looks, but it did the trick.
Yesterday there was an important game in England that was shown live here at five o’clock in the morning, a little earlier than I usually like to be watching football. So of course, I recorded it and decided I would watch it later that evening. But how do I avoid hearing the score? It was Manchester City versus Tottenham, with the winner virtually guaranteed a place in the Champions League. Everybody was talking about it.
But not here. Nobody knew. Nobody cared. It’s just “soccer”. The results don’t appear on the news, they’re not mentioned on the radio and you are not likely to walk past someone in the street talking about the game either. Australia is an English football results free zone.
So how did I avoid the score? Easily! I went shopping, I spoke with people on the streets, I listened to the radio in the car, no problems at all. Until my mobile rang. The caller was an English friend of mine and a fellow football nut. I took no chances, I put my phone in the bin. So I did get to watch the game without knowing the score, and what a game it was too.
For those of you who missed it, here’s the defining moment when Tottenham secured their place in the Champions League for the first time since 1962 with a convincing away victory against mega rich money bags City, who were just 1 point behind in the league and looking to leapfrog us.
Update: YouTube removed the original version of that defining moment, something to do with copyright. So here’s a replacement video, it still has the defining moment, but also a bit more. Do watch it to the end to see what the lads did to ‘Arry, the manager. I dunno, some youngsters have no respect….
Get in there Crouchy!
But for those of you who have seen through the weak “Australian connection” in this story and have realised this whole post is simply an excuse for me to get away with celebrating Tottenham’s finest achievement in football since the English Premier League began and nothing to do with life in Australia whatsoever, I apologise.
For you, here’s the Australian National Anthem…..
Come on you Spurs!!!!! Where’s my phone?