The funny thing is when I came to Australia I thought the biggest baddest thing would probably be snakes or if not, possibly spiders. I was never really concerned about sharks or crocodiles because, being an absolute coward and a fierce opponent to personal pain, I knew I would avoid areas where they could get me.
I would guess I am at least 1000 miles from the nearest crocodile and I am not sure that anybody has been bitten by a shark standing in 2 foot six deep water, about 10 feet from the shore. (Apart from in Jaws 1, Jaws 2, Jaws 3, Jaws 4 ad infinitum.) And that’s the furthest I have ventured into the sea.
As it turns out, in almost 2 years of living here I have only seen one snake “in the wild” and that was a small, harmless carpet snake that I wouldn’t have seen if it hadn’t have been pointed out to me.
And spiders, although I have seen quite a few, they are easily dealt with. That the mozzies and the sandflies have turned out to be the most troublesome for me has been a big surprise. But here’s the thing, even they are no big deal! They do not ruin my life and in truth, I expected flies would be the real problem, but I hardly ever see those.
So let me sum all that up real quick: the biggest baddest Australian bad thing isn’t that bad at all.
How bad is that?
Let me introduce you to my three favourite aerosols.
Aeroguard is an odourless spray to be applied to your arms and legs etc. – it’s non greasy, there is no need to rub it in and it keeps the Mozzies and sandflies at bay.
Raid is sulphuric acid for insects. One quick spray and he ain’t going nowhere. Personally, I think that’s a cruel way to deal with them, a simple rolled up newspaper is much quicker. But now that I’ve been here some time, I know that there are only really two dangerous spiders and I know what they look like. So I have reverted back to catching them in a glass and sliding a postcard underneath before throwing them out the back door.
Bar-B-Chef is for the barbecue. Fire it up onto full heat, spray Bar-B-Chef onto the plates and then throw on the steaks.
Problems occur when you grab the wrong aerosols. I have only done this once. Yes, seriously, I took out a cockroach with one short sharp spray of Aeroguard. Cockroaches are supposed to be able to survive a nuclear fallout but this little critter flipped around like a loony when hit with Aeroguard. It seemed to deal with him better than Raid would have done!
But on the positive side, although I’m sure he didn’t see it this way, he didn’t get bitten by any Mozzies in his final moments.
My goal is to ensure I do not use Raid to cook steaks or use Bar-B-Chef to keep the Mozzies away. It if I can manage that, I can forget all about Australia’s bad things.Footnote: Apologies to cockroach lovers everywhere for the pain and suffering I may have caused you in my graphic description of how the cockroach flipped around after being sprayed by Aeroguard. Please be advised that his death was much slower than described and probably far more painful than my words implied. I could have described his death as long and lingering but resisted from doing so in order not to hurt any cockroach lovers feelings. Here at BobinOz.com we regard everybody as equal, even those who love cockroaches. Thank you for your understanding.