The Rules of Making New Friends

I talked about making new friends last week but what I really was trying to say is this. When you say goodbye to your long-term friends and you know you are saying goodbye forever, your need to make new friends increases.

Wherever you are living now, you probably have a steady, reliable, backdrop of friends that you have known for 5, 10, 20 or even 30 years, if you’re an old codger like me. Part of you says “why make new ones?”

All of a sudden when you come out here, all that changes. Now, you need to make new friends.

How to make new friends.

Making New Friends

Making New Friends

A few months ago I gave you all some tips about cooking on a barbecue. Today I am giving tips on how to make new friends. Anyone who knew me in England will think this is some kind of joke. “Bob, cooking? Bob on the art of socializing? What’s he going to be talking about next week? Treating your body as a shrine!”

Yes, it would sound crazy to those who knew me. But all I am doing is adapting to my new circumstances. If you come out here to live, you will too. It’s easy.

The Rules of Making New Friends

  • #1 The first rule of making new friends is never say no to any invite.
  • #2 The second rule of making new friends is NEVER SAY NO to any invite.

I would like to thank the makers of the film “Fight Club” for the inspiration behind those rules.

It goes without saying that you do need to stay safe and not put yourself into any dangerous situations during this process. For example, if a man in a car were to pull up alongside a woman on her own and ask “Would you like to come back to my place to see my etchings?” – then that probably isn’t the kind of invite you would want to say yes to. Not even if he were also offering chocolate cake and wine. You may, instead, like to let out a very audible scream.

With that small warning out of the way, let’s move on.

Making friends

For us, it really hasn’t been difficult to make new friends. The people out here are very communal, well they certainly are where I live. Here’s how we made our first bunch of friends.

It must have been about day three when I went down to the local hardware store to buy some stuff. My little girl came along with me for the ride. As I was paying for my goods, one of the other assistants working in the shop came over to me and said “Are you from Essex?”

In the conversation that followed, she explained that she came here from Essex too, she had a little boy about the same age as my daughter and then she gave me her phone number and invited my wife to phone her so they could meet each other.

It was an invite and the rules are clear. So my wife telephoned and they became friends and then later I became friends with her husband. Easy.

It must have been about day six when a local carpenter had come round to help me fit some new doors. “We’ve got a daughter the same age as your daughter” he said. “If you give me your phone number, I’ll get my wife to ring your wife and they can go out.”

It was an invite and the rules are clear. We gave him our phone number and his wife rang my wife and now they are very good friends. I became very good friends with her husband.

Friend number one with the little boy said to my wife “there’s a playgroup for children our kids age, do you fancy coming?”

It was an invite and the rules are clear. My wife went to the playgroup and met lots of friends. I later became friends with some of the husbands.

It’s just too easy. After just four months we had enough friends to fill our house with adults and children for our daughter’s fourth birthday.

What if you get an invite from somebody that you don’t really click with? Can you say no to that? Sorry, the rules are very clear! You may not click with them, but it’s very likely they will introduce you to other people that you will click with. If you just stick to the rules for the first 12 months, you will make friends.

Of course, you don’t have to wait for invites. There are loads of communal activities to choose from that you can just go to without an invite. And when you get there, somebody will invite you to something. You know what you have to do.

Back in England, I used to go to the pub regularly with five other blokes. Since living here, it has taken me around 15 months to find five mates who all live close enough to get to the local sports club. As soon as I had those five mates, I suggested we meet one Friday for a beer and we have been doing that regularly ever since.

There! Got my social life back.

A lot of English people live out here and I would guess that just over half of our friends are from the UK. I think there is a reason for this. Everyone who has moved over here has the same need to make new friends. They too have left their friends and family behind. People are always looking to make new connections.

And I’ll tell you what, it’s a whole lot of fun doing it.

For a full chronological list and brief description of all the posts in this series about how I moved to Australia, please visit my page How to Move to Australia.

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{ 225 comments… add one }
  • gbassay issa kamara September 21, 2017, 8:34 am | Link

    I would like to have a female australian friend

  • Diana September 17, 2017, 7:51 pm | Link

    Hi

  • Edith September 6, 2017, 12:57 am | Link

    Am Edith from Nigeria, I need teacher friends from Australia

  • lala September 5, 2017, 6:33 pm | Link

    Thanks, Bob. At first, I scoffed..pfttt, I’m not going to try and make friends with people I don’t naturally clicked with! Then I read the line that said, even people you don’t click with can introduce you to new people. Nothing wrong with giving the friends making thing a go, even after 2 years of living here XD!

    • BobinOz September 6, 2017, 8:49 pm | Link

      Yes, it’s worth a go, I’ve met many a friend through people I didn’t really get on with and now no longer see. It’s good to meet friends of friends, you never know who you might meet next.

  • Navdeep August 28, 2017, 5:09 pm | Link

    Hi , me Navdeep male 42 from Malaysia, looking for female companion in Australia.. , my fb [email protected] 0060183130720

  • eric August 23, 2017, 5:31 am | Link

    Am Eric want to make friends from Australia

  • emily mike July 28, 2017, 1:28 am | Link

    am mike i need a friend from Australia

  • ntwari armel brousel July 18, 2017, 3:27 am | Link

    Hi,i am armel and I am from in kenya,i want to make friends with Aussies,my email is [email protected]

  • John praise July 14, 2017, 5:45 pm | Link

    Hi, I am john praise from Nigeria, I will like to make friends from Australians. My contacts are +2348051364037,+2348037638459 and my emails are [email protected] and [email protected]

  • Michael Gabriel Otteh July 7, 2017, 1:34 am | Link

    I am Michael Gabriel Otteh from Nigeria. I like to have friend in Australia. If you want to contact me +234-070-59946568 or e-mail me at [email protected]. Thanks.

  • Raheem June 19, 2017, 6:34 am | Link

    Hi ho like me make frand.plz

  • thusha June 15, 2017, 2:18 pm | Link

    I’m Sri lankan..i would like to have a friends in austalia
    my gmail [email protected]

  • M.S.Piyasiri June 11, 2017, 9:42 pm | Link

    I am a Sri lankan. I am 50. I would like to have a friend of same age level from Australia.

  • Dos Santos June 11, 2017, 8:00 pm | Link

    Hi I’m Dos Santos from Liberia I would like to make new friends from Australia
    My email [email protected]
    Contact number +231776945098
    Facebook name Dos Santos
    Instagram name Dos Santos
    Imo name Granshavin

  • Bidya Mohalder June 7, 2017, 3:19 pm | Link

    Hi,I am Bidya.I need any new friend in all county. please, any new people that make me friend, please contact me.my Facebook number search number / skip / emo
    :01767891964

  • Salanieta May 20, 2017, 9:40 am | Link

    Hi im Salanieta from Fiji Islands and i would like to have a Australian Friend from Sydney.

    • vinayak June 7, 2017, 3:59 pm | Link

      hi Salanieta, i am an Indian, I want to make friendship with Fiji islandian.

    • Michael karel June 11, 2017, 6:57 pm | Link

      Hi hw are you guys

  • Salanieta May 20, 2017, 9:36 am | Link

    Hi im Salanieta and i am from Fiji Islands and i would like a Australian Friend.

    • Sathu July 17, 2017, 12:40 am | Link

      Hi im Sathu, male, in Australia 5 years
      I would like makes friends and i hope we’ll be good friendship in the future.
      Please contact me
      Further after your reply
      Thanks
      Sathu

      • John praise July 17, 2017, 3:40 am | Link

        My name is John praise, male I am from NIGERIA West Africa and I will like to make friends with an Australian

      • ntwari armel brousel July 18, 2017, 3:30 am | Link

        Hi Sathu,ok thanks I wish to be your friend,i m from kenya

  • sajen May 17, 2017, 8:38 pm | Link

    Hi, my name is SAJEN from Tanzania…I am greatly need to have any Australian friend.

  • nisha May 2, 2017, 2:06 am | Link

    hi i m sri lankan. i like to share my ideas with australian friends. my imo number is 00974776514946, i would like more friends.thanks.

  • otor charles April 12, 2017, 8:30 am | Link

    am charles,a Nigerian,civil servant,hope to be in Australia between August and October 2017. I need friends from Australia
    you can get in touch with me via whatsapp 2348172730787. I Look forward to hearing from you.

  • Olumide Smith April 12, 2017, 3:04 am | Link

    Hello I am Olumide from Nigeria, I would like to have a friend in Australia. I will be glad and joyous if you send me your email. Thanks. My email is [email protected]

  • purity April 5, 2017, 8:47 am | Link

    My name is purity, looking for any job to support my family from poverty. Am from Kenya. 25years old. And also make new friends

  • Pete April 2, 2017, 8:58 am | Link

    Wow! So many invites in the comments from people wanting to be friends! With the “never say no to an invite” rule you’ll have many opportunities for holidays around the world. Nigeria is certainly well represented!

    Anyway – well done for pulling the site / blog together. I was looking for info on buying a house in Brisvegas, but have got a bit sidetracked and enjoyed reading these comments instead. Very productive use of my Sunday morning 🙂

    Cheers…

    • BobinOz April 4, 2017, 6:54 pm | Link

      Yes, I am planning my world tour right now, and I won’t be needing Airbnb 🙂

      Anyway, the internet can be a big distraction, but I am pleased to hear you enjoyed going off track for a while. Hopefully you found my pages about Brisbane and Cost of Buying or Renting a House in Australia to bring you back on subject.

      Thanks for the kind words, and good luck with your house hunt.

  • Dema March 12, 2017, 2:28 am | Link

    Hello m dema from Bhutan..divorced n got one son..really needed small job Lik baby sitter..out dar in Australia..bec its my dreamland..do make me friend n invite me..so I can atleast buy sth for my own baby..n will look after my poor parents.thanks

  • Ben February 24, 2017, 1:50 am | Link

    Need a girl from Australia for marriage. Am single and ready to mingle

    • BobinOz February 27, 2017, 8:56 pm | Link

      You smooth tongued Casanova Ben, you sure have a way with the ladies 🙂

  • Alloysius Udombeke February 18, 2017, 4:48 am | Link

    My name is Alloysius. I like to ve friend in Austrslia

  • Mj February 17, 2017, 1:44 pm | Link

    Hello im from Philippines i want to make friends also ca we be friends? 😊

  • Dalton lameck February 7, 2017, 6:44 pm | Link

    I really like Australia ladies

  • sophia February 7, 2017, 12:56 pm | Link

    Hiii I’m Sophia from Indonesia, I would like to have many Friends from Australia.

    • karel Michael' June 11, 2017, 7:01 pm | Link

      Can you send m your gmail account Sofia.

      • ntwari armel brousel July 18, 2017, 3:35 am | Link

        Hi Karen, I m armel from kenya,i wanna make friendship with Aussies.my email is [email protected].

  • Alex February 3, 2017, 10:31 pm | Link

    Hi Bob my name is Alex i really like to make a friend. Am single am a Male .
    I don’t mind having a contact number to call or email .

    Thanks

  • Alfred Balison January 27, 2017, 12:12 pm | Link

    Hi hello ma’m/ Sir Im Alfred Balison 31yrs old frm Philippines,ihave a Son and wife but not done to married in chrch bcoz i dont have money to use for wedding,im a good and hard working and farm and any good work in farm,so please ma’m /sir help me to get job in Australia for farmers or any farm works fruit packing ect.bcoz iwant to give to my son a good future and i want my family happy,my English weak but i want to improve,please help me sir/mam. Im happy if have a good heart to help me if how i get work and make new friend there in Australia..thnkyou its me Alfred B

  • Mojdeh December 31, 2016, 9:19 pm | Link

    hi, i’m iranian, i would really like to have a friend from australia. i would be happy if you send mail to me…

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