As you saw from Wednesday’s post, the OECD has found Australia the best country in the world to live in. But that is not an opinion shared by everybody.
For some time I have been working on a post called ’10 Reasons Why NOT to Move to Australia’. When I say “working on”, what I mean is I have had the idea, created a notepad with the title and every now and then, when I think of a reason, I add it to the list.
In three years, this is as far as I have got…..
1. Your favourite hobby is history/archaeology.
2. You are allergic to golden sandy beaches.
But where I have struggled with this, a guy called Fred has had no problems in compiling his list. Fred contacted me recently via my YouTube channel with a request for me to allow his video as a “video response” to one of my videos.
I emailed Fred back and told him what I would really like to do is a feature post about his blog, even though I did not agree with a single thing on his website. I also explained I would very likely be taking the Mickey out of what he has said and asked if he was okay with that. I also mentioned that I could not work out whether his website was serious or a complete joke.
Fred replied he was happy for me to go ahead and also said “My website is just a tool to make prospective migrants know some facts before making their mind. I am just trying to do good here. Don’t forget that I mentioned that I have met some good people in Oz as well. To me the main problem was nature, not people. So the only fix was to leave. Wish you a good life in Oz.”
So, he is up for it and, apparently, his website is serious. So let us get stuck in.
On occasions I have been accused of looking at Australia with rose tinted glasses. I have never really understood that idiom, but I do know it means I only (apparently) see the best side of this country.
Well, here is Fred with his view which is surely the worst side.
10 Reasons Why NOT to Move to Australia
What I am going to do here is run through each of Fred’s 10 points, summarise them in my own words and give you one short Fred quote from it. But to get the full flavour of Fred’s wonderful website, you really should visit it for yourself and read it all.
It’s only a one-page website and will take you less than 5 minutes and that includes pauses for laughter. Here goes…
1- UV Radiation
Apparently, to protect ourselves from these dangers, those of us here in Australia have to avoid the sun, wear long sleeves and trousers, big hats, slap on the sunscreen every couple of hours and wear dark glasses.
Well, I’m not buying that one.
It is not just us people who suffer either, according to Fred “Trees look sad.”
Cockroaches, snakes, rats and spiders are mentioned here and Fred feels that not even pest control can stop “the spider from building its home so quickly every day. They can’t stop it from checking your mail…”
Spiders checking my mail?
Fred’s general opinion of Australian people isn’t good. A top contender for best quote in this section was where he mentions the likelihood of being attacked with glass or something. But my favourite sentence of them all was the one just after he mentions having met some highly educated people who he thought were normal. He continues “However, the rest of them are divided into old people and young people. Old people are OK because they can’t fight!”
4- Cost of Life
Fred thinks Australia is expensive. He has some ideas why this is and explains it with this…. “One reason behind it is that the government pays for babies.”
It is not just Australia is a long way away from so many other countries, but even getting about within Australia is tough because there are “not enough gas stations either.”
6- Health Care
Our health care system is funny and dental costs crazy. Waiting times are too long; expect to wait all night at ER. And, according to Fred, “Some small service centers are at par with developing countries.”
Bad, bad, bad roads! Roundabouts everywhere, even on the highways. You must visit his website if only to find out about our terrible roads. As he says “I have seen better roads in many places except Srilanka!”
Universities are public and everyone studies for free, apparently. But the bad news is they are not safe and, according to Fred, you will probably be raped at night. Which leads me to my favourite quote from this one. “Of course there is no punishment or law.”
Bad, bad, bad housing! Houses are old and badly maintained because people want to spend their money on drink instead. But that is not the real problem with houses. No. There is a government conspiracy. According to Fred “Actually the government forbids new buildings so as to keep the price high, but the quality drops!”
There is a lot more information on Fred’s site about the housing, and I know I have already said you must visit his website if only to find out about the terrible roads. But now I am thinking, maybe you should only visit his website to find out about the terrible housing.
Hey! Why not visit his website to find out about both?
In Australia, teenagers attack old people all the time. It is a risk to go out at night. These teenagers get money directly from the government. And if you think all that sounds horrific enough, as Fred says, “There is no arrest, no law enforcement, nothing!”
So there you have it. 10 reasons why not to move to Australia according to Fred. I don’t agree with any of it. Having said that, I think Fred’s site is as funny as any I’ve seen. So I thank him for making me laugh.
But this really is just a very brief overview of his 10 reasons; Fred puts it so much better than I do. I highly recommend you pop over to his website and take a few minutes to read and digest it all.
Fred also gives a bonus 11th reason which I won’t reveal here. So why not go to go to
No point in clicking that link anymore, Freds website was taken down by the hosts. Last time I was able to click through, I saw the following message…
“We’re sorry, this site is frozen.
If you are the site owner, please contact our abuse team regarding the status of your website.”
Seems we weren’t the only ones who found Freds opinions offensive
Here’s his video:
No it isn’t.
Update 2: Fred removed his video from YouTube and explained why in a comment on this very page. You can see that comment somewhere below, a long long way below, underneath all the other yummy comments. Look for one by Fred sometime in June 2014.
Now, for those of you who can’t sleep at night worrying what that 11th bonus reason was, I’m going to reprint it here.
From the now taken down Not Australia website, this sums it all up really…
11- Bonus reason!
Most of Australia is dry and there are a lot of bush fires and house fires. An additional reason is the abnormally high intensity of sun radiation which makes this risk even bigger. Sandstorms come from the desert as well.