10 Reasons Why NOT to Move to Australia

As you saw from Wednesday’s post, the OECD has found Australia the best country in the world to live in. But that is not an opinion shared by everybody.

For some time I have been working on a post called ’10 Reasons Why NOT to Move to Australia’. When I say “working on”, what I mean is I have had the idea, created a notepad with the title and every now and then, when I think of a reason, I add it to the list.

In three years, this is as far as I have got…..

1. Your favourite hobby is history/archaeology.
2. You are allergic to golden sandy beaches.

That’s it!

But where I have struggled with this, a guy called Fred has had no problems in compiling his list. Fred contacted me recently via my YouTube channel with a request for me to allow his video as a “video response” to one of my videos.

I emailed Fred back and told him what I would really like to do is a feature post about his blog, even though I did not agree with a single thing on his website. I also explained I would very likely be taking the Mickey out of what he has said and asked if he was okay with that. I also mentioned that I could not work out whether his website was serious or a complete joke.

Fred replied he was happy for me to go ahead and also said “My website is just a tool to make prospective migrants know some facts before making their mind. I am just trying to do good here. Don’t forget that I mentioned that I have met some good people in Oz as well. To me the main problem was nature, not people. So the only fix was to leave. Wish you a good life in Oz.”

So, he is up for it and, apparently, his website is serious. So let us get stuck in.

On occasions  I have been accused of looking at Australia with rose tinted glasses. I have never really understood that idiom, but I do know it means I only (apparently) see the best side of this country.

Well, here is Fred with his view which is surely the worst side.

10 Reasons Why NOT to Move to Australia

What I am going to do here is run through each of Fred’s 10 points, summarise them in my own words and give you one short Fred quote from it. But to get the full flavour of Fred’s wonderful website, you really should visit it for yourself and read it all.

It’s only a one-page website and will take you less than 5 minutes and that includes pauses for laughter. Here goes…

1- UV Radiation

Apparently, to protect ourselves from these dangers, those of us here in Australia have to avoid the sun, wear long sleeves and trousers, big hats, slap on the sunscreen every couple of hours and wear dark glasses.

Mooloolaba Sun AvoidanceWell, I’m not buying that one.

It is not just us people who suffer either, according to Fred “Trees look sad.”

2- Pests

Cockroaches, snakes, rats and spiders are mentioned here and Fred feels that not even pest control can stop “the spider from building its home so quickly every day. They can’t stop it from checking your mail…”

Spiders checking my mail?

3- People

Fred’s general opinion of Australian people isn’t good. A top contender for best quote in this section was where he mentions the likelihood of being attacked with glass or something. But my favourite sentence of them all was the one just after he mentions having met some highly educated people who he thought were normal. He continues “However, the rest of them are divided into old people and young people. Old people are OK because they can’t fight!”

4- Cost of Life

Fred thinks Australia is expensive. He has some ideas why this is and explains it with this…. “One reason behind it is that the government pays for babies.”

5- Location

It is not just Australia is a long way away from so many other countries, but even getting about within Australia is tough because there are “not enough gas stations either.”

6- Health Care

sickOur health care system is funny and dental costs crazy. Waiting times are too long; expect to wait all night at ER. And, according to Fred, “Some small service centers are at par with developing countries.”

7- Roads

Bad, bad, bad roads! Roundabouts everywhere, even on the highways. You must visit his website if only to find out about our terrible roads. As he says “I have seen better roads in many places except Srilanka!”

8- Education

Universities are public and everyone studies for free, apparently. But the bad news is they are not safe and, according to Fred, you will probably be raped at night. Which leads me to my favourite quote from this one. “Of course there is no punishment or law.”

9- Housing

aussie houseBad, bad, bad housing! Houses are old and badly maintained because people want to spend their money on drink instead. But that is not the real problem with houses. No. There is a government conspiracy. According to Fred “Actually the government forbids new buildings so as to keep the price high, but the quality drops!”

There is a lot more information on Fred’s site about the housing, and I know I have already said you must visit his website if only to find out about the terrible roads. But now I am thinking, maybe you should only visit his website to find out about the terrible housing.

Hey! Why not visit his website to find out about both?

10- Crime

In Australia, teenagers attack old people all the time. It is a risk to go out at night. These teenagers get money directly from the government. And if you think all that sounds horrific enough, as Fred says, “There is no arrest, no law enforcement, nothing!”

Dang!

So there you have it. 10 reasons why not to move to Australia according to Fred. I don’t agree with any of it. Having said that, I think Fred’s site is as funny as any I’ve seen. So I thank him for making me laugh.

But this really is just a very brief overview of his 10 reasons; Fred puts it so much better than I do. I highly recommend you pop over to his website and take a few minutes to read and digest it all.

Fred also gives a bonus 11th reason which I won’t reveal here. So why not go to go to NotAustralia?

Update:

No point in clicking that link anymore, Freds website was taken down by the hosts. Last time I was able to click through, I saw the following message…

“We’re sorry, this site is frozen.
If you are the site owner, please contact our abuse team regarding the status of your website.”

Seems we weren’t the only ones who found Freds opinions offensive 🙂

Here’s his video:

No it isn’t.

Update 2: Fred removed his video from YouTube and explained why in a comment on this very page. You can see that comment somewhere below, a long long way below, underneath all the other yummy comments. Look for one by Fred sometime in June 2014.

Now, for those of you who can’t sleep at night worrying what that 11th bonus reason was, I’m going to reprint it here.

From the now taken down Not Australia website, this sums it all up really…

11- Bonus reason!

Most of Australia is dry and there are a lot of bush fires and house fires. An additional reason is the abnormally high intensity of sun radiation which makes this risk even bigger. Sandstorms come from the desert as well.

Comments

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{ 780 comments… add one }
  • Austin May 21, 2017, 8:49 pm | Link

    Your knowledge of Australia is lacking. Crime rate here is as low as it gets. Compare it to other countries and you’d be blown away by the information before you. It’s one of the safest countries to live in. You clearly didn’t do your research before making this.

  • i don't like Australia May 19, 2017, 1:04 pm | Link

    Hey,
    this website is sooooo true. Australia has the worst heat and i got so sunburnt. and there are the weirdest animals e.g snakes.
    in the shopping centers there were way to many people every where

    • BobinOz May 19, 2017, 7:51 pm | Link

      Ah, yes, thanks for adding that one which somehow slipped the net, bloomin, snakes in the shopping centres! They’re everywhere, especially when the sales are on!

      As for the people though, yes, they are EVERYWHERE! I remember reading somewhere that there’s one person for every 7 square miles in Australia. Ridiculous!

      Bloomin’ Australia!

      Thanks for your comment i don’t like Australia, you made my day 🙂

  • Lillianna April 30, 2017, 2:21 pm | Link

    Hi Bob
    You are way of course Australia is nothing like that and while the government is bad half of the things you said were exaggerated or plainly not true. i have lived in Australia a long time and have not heard or seen some of those things you talked about!
    Even though some of those things were silly i must agree with the 2nd one and a few others. Some other things you talked about were very true i was talking about them for ages!

    • BobinOz May 2, 2017, 6:40 pm | Link

      The things I said? I think you need to read it again to find out exactly who said what 🙂

      • Frank Accardo May 22, 2017, 9:29 am | Link

        This an open letter to all who are on this forum. I live in the US with my wife who’s an Australian citizen. After visiting Australia for the first time in 2001, I had an epiphany and realized that Australia aligned much more to my personal beliefs about healthcare, gun control, and other issues. My question has always been, how do we make the move to Australia? I’m a respiratory therapist in the US, but the field is not recognized in Australia. My wife is a writer, so she’d have no trouble moving. But what can I do? I guess my question is, could I study for anything in the US in relatively short order, and use that knowledge to find a job in Australia? Any ideas? Any former US citizens who have managed to make a life in Australia? Thank you for anybody who might be able to offer some advise.

        • BobinOz May 22, 2017, 7:05 pm | Link

          Frank, I’m not sure what you mean by ‘not recognised in Australia’, because I have just googled ‘respiratory therapist jobs in Australia’ and quite a few vacancies have shown up. Obviously with your wife being an Australian citizen, she won’t need a visa, but if you can successfully apply for one as her husband then I see no reason why you shouldn’t find work in your field when you get here.

          I have a page about Americans in Australia, you might like to read it and take a look at the comments made on it, there are quite a few stories of people who have moved from the US to Australia. Here’s the link…

          http://www.bobinoz.com/blog/13748/americans-in-australia-do-australians-like-americans/

          • Frank Accardo May 23, 2017, 12:41 am | Link

            Hi Bob. I’ve googled those same respiratory positions several times in the past. Unfortunately, they are all either Saudi Arabia or US locations. Plus, I’m not actually worried about the actual filling out of the visa, because I know I would have little trouble getting in with my wife and her family being Australian citizens. I just wouldn’t want to be any type of burden on the system by not finding work.

  • Geft February 25, 2017, 2:07 am | Link

    Guys am about to move to Australia and am guessing i can hear from you guys if it’s really bad down there as Fred claims… Help

    • Jillaroo February 25, 2017, 4:32 am | Link

      No it’s not. Do you believe everything you read? “Fred” is, shall we say, just a bit unhinged. He’s jealous of those who have a wonderful life in Australia… and so many do! He is trying to bring people down with complete and utter lies for no other reason but jealousy. I actually feel sorry for him and his delusional ideas.

      • Geft February 25, 2017, 6:27 am | Link

        I feel much better now.
        I don’t believe everything i read but to be on the safer side. Am a Nigerian, some part of my country has very high level of violence and it’s for real

        • Jillaroo February 25, 2017, 6:52 am | Link

          Australia doesn’t have zero crime but it’s no where in the scale of Nigeria. Have you a visa already?

          • Geft February 25, 2017, 8:07 am | Link

            On the process (visa)

            • lillianna April 30, 2017, 2:27 pm | Link

              Hi geft
              I agree with jillaroo, australia is a great place to live. while the heat can be awful at times it is a great excuse to go too one of the stunning beaches.
              Lots of the things said above by “Fred” were so exaggerated i laughed. From my experience i would move here if anywhere.

              • Geft May 1, 2017, 12:34 am | Link

                Thanks a lot for your comment… Am more convinced

  • David February 3, 2017, 4:13 pm | Link

    G’day Bob,
    My ex-employer has an American wife, so they travel back to America annual to see her family. He told me he was speaking to his brother in law and when asked why he dose not come to visit Australia. His American brother in law told him “I don’t want to be shoot”.

    He was asked what he meant by that, the response went some thing like this. “The amount of shootings that happen in Australia, its a wonder all Australian aren’t dead”
    .
    (So I guess they just accept the (OCCASIONAL) shooting that happens in America is just part of there Life. Is his information spread by Americas NRA so the will not have restricted gun laws ???)

    He was shocked when my ex-employer told him that this was not the case and we only have possibly a couple of gun related deaths every year.

    This could possibly be put in as a reason not to move to Australia???

    Regards David

    • BobinOz February 3, 2017, 7:51 pm | Link

      Well, these are actually Fred’s 10 reasons not to move to Australia, not mine, but I’m really surprised that Fred missed this one out. I think it would have fitted perfectly in amongst his list.

      ‘Don’t move to Australia because you will almost certainly be senselessly shot in the street for no reason, unlike America where this sort of thing never happens.’

      I don’t know who on earth managed to convince this person that Australia has a problem with shootings and that it is safer in the US, but whoever it was, he is the Prince (or maybe she is the Princess) of propaganda.

      Trump should have this person on his team; maybe he already does?

  • Cameron January 24, 2017, 7:39 pm | Link

    Depending on which blood line you look at, I’m a 4th generation Australian, 4th is the minimum, I could just as easily claim to be a 6th, and frankly if I could leave this over governed, over taxed land I would. We must be the only country looking at the States at the moment and thinking “well he might be objectionable but at least he’s brighter than our lot”. Governed by self serving, snout in the trough bell ends who are so indignant when they get their hands slapped yet will still happily put rules and regulations around every thing a person might reasonably want to do in a society. But that’s ok because 95% of Australians don’t bother with the law anyway, it really is a society where only the stupoid follow the rules. Christ I hate this place

    • BobinOz January 25, 2017, 4:25 pm | Link

      Well Cameron, it’s actually interesting that you have picked on my two pet hates about Australia, and I really don’t have very many at all. I have to agree with you about our quite hopeless and often greedy politicians and the ridiculous nanny state rules that apply in our various states and territories.

      But my word, the day I looked towards the US with envy, whether Trump is in charge or not, will be the day I make arrangements to quickly return with my family to the UK. It’ll probably be the same day that Darwin has snow at Christmas.

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