10 Reasons Why NOT to Move to Australia

As you saw from Wednesday’s post, the OECD has found Australia the best country in the world to live in. But that is not an opinion shared by everybody.

For some time I have been working on a post called ’10 Reasons Why NOT to Move to Australia’. When I say “working on”, what I mean is I have had the idea, created a notepad with the title and every now and then, when I think of a reason, I add it to the list.

In three years, this is as far as I have got…..

1. Your favourite hobby is history/archaeology.
2. You are allergic to golden sandy beaches.

That’s it!

But where I have struggled with this, a guy called Fred has had no problems in compiling his list. Fred contacted me recently via my YouTube channel with a request for me to allow his video as a “video response” to one of my videos.

I emailed Fred back and told him what I would really like to do is a feature post about his blog, even though I did not agree with a single thing on his website. I also explained I would very likely be taking the Mickey out of what he has said and asked if he was okay with that. I also mentioned that I could not work out whether his website was serious or a complete joke.

Fred replied he was happy for me to go ahead and also said “My website is just a tool to make prospective migrants know some facts before making their mind. I am just trying to do good here. Don’t forget that I mentioned that I have met some good people in Oz as well. To me the main problem was nature, not people. So the only fix was to leave. Wish you a good life in Oz.”

So, he is up for it and, apparently, his website is serious. So let us get stuck in.

On occasions  I have been accused of looking at Australia with rose tinted glasses. I have never really understood that idiom, but I do know it means I only (apparently) see the best side of this country.

Well, here is Fred with his view which is surely the worst side.

10 Reasons Why NOT to Move to Australia

What I am going to do here is run through each of Fred’s 10 points, summarise them in my own words and give you one short Fred quote from it. But to get the full flavour of Fred’s wonderful website, you really should visit it for yourself and read it all.

It’s only a one-page website and will take you less than 5 minutes and that includes pauses for laughter. Here goes…

1- UV Radiation

Apparently, to protect ourselves from these dangers, those of us here in Australia have to avoid the sun, wear long sleeves and trousers, big hats, slap on the sunscreen every couple of hours and wear dark glasses.

Mooloolaba Sun AvoidanceWell, I’m not buying that one.

It is not just us people who suffer either, according to Fred “Trees look sad.”

2- Pests

Cockroaches, snakes, rats and spiders are mentioned here and Fred feels that not even pest control can stop “the spider from building its home so quickly every day. They can’t stop it from checking your mail…”

Spiders checking my mail?

3- People

Fred’s general opinion of Australian people isn’t good. A top contender for best quote in this section was where he mentions the likelihood of being attacked with glass or something. But my favourite sentence of them all was the one just after he mentions having met some highly educated people who he thought were normal. He continues “However, the rest of them are divided into old people and young people. Old people are OK because they can’t fight!”

4- Cost of Life

Fred thinks Australia is expensive. He has some ideas why this is and explains it with this…. “One reason behind it is that the government pays for babies.”

5- Location

It is not just Australia is a long way away from so many other countries, but even getting about within Australia is tough because there are “not enough gas stations either.”

6- Health Care

sickOur health care system is funny and dental costs crazy. Waiting times are too long; expect to wait all night at ER. And, according to Fred, “Some small service centers are at par with developing countries.”

7- Roads

Bad, bad, bad roads! Roundabouts everywhere, even on the highways. You must visit his website if only to find out about our terrible roads. As he says “I have seen better roads in many places except Srilanka!”

8- Education

Universities are public and everyone studies for free, apparently. But the bad news is they are not safe and, according to Fred, you will probably be raped at night. Which leads me to my favourite quote from this one. “Of course there is no punishment or law.”

9- Housing

aussie houseBad, bad, bad housing! Houses are old and badly maintained because people want to spend their money on drink instead. But that is not the real problem with houses. No. There is a government conspiracy. According to Fred “Actually the government forbids new buildings so as to keep the price high, but the quality drops!”

There is a lot more information on Fred’s site about the housing, and I know I have already said you must visit his website if only to find out about the terrible roads. But now I am thinking, maybe you should only visit his website to find out about the terrible housing.

Hey! Why not visit his website to find out about both?

10- Crime

In Australia, teenagers attack old people all the time. It is a risk to go out at night. These teenagers get money directly from the government. And if you think all that sounds horrific enough, as Fred says, “There is no arrest, no law enforcement, nothing!”

Dang!

So there you have it. 10 reasons why not to move to Australia according to Fred. I don’t agree with any of it. Having said that, I think Fred’s site is as funny as any I’ve seen. So I thank him for making me laugh.

But this really is just a very brief overview of his 10 reasons; Fred puts it so much better than I do. I highly recommend you pop over to his website and take a few minutes to read and digest it all.

Fred also gives a bonus 11th reason which I won’t reveal here. So why not go to go to NotAustralia?

Update:

No point in clicking that link anymore, Freds website was taken down by the hosts. Last time I was able to click through, I saw the following message…

“We’re sorry, this site is frozen.
If you are the site owner, please contact our abuse team regarding the status of your website.”

Seems we weren’t the only ones who found Freds opinions offensive 🙂

Here’s his video:

No it isn’t.

Update 2: Fred removed his video from YouTube and explained why in a comment on this very page. You can see that comment somewhere below, a long long way below, underneath all the other yummy comments. Look for one by Fred sometime in June 2014.

Now, for those of you who can’t sleep at night worrying what that 11th bonus reason was, I’m going to reprint it here.

From the now taken down Not Australia website, this sums it all up really…

11- Bonus reason!

Most of Australia is dry and there are a lot of bush fires and house fires. An additional reason is the abnormally high intensity of sun radiation which makes this risk even bigger. Sandstorms come from the desert as well.

Comments

Please feel free to add your views and comments below, but do be aware that bad language and swearing is not allowed on this website. I thank you in advance for your cooperation.

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{ 574 comments… add one }
  • Ned April 21, 2016, 10:41 pm | Link

    You said not to swear, so I have to keep this clean. This despite the fact that you left out “swearing” as one of the reasons not to move to Australia… cos we love our swearing.. Now: this has been one of the most ridiculous articles I have ever read… I can’t believe that some people actually took you seriously…

    • BobinOz April 22, 2016, 7:07 pm | Link

      The verdict is still out as to whether Fred was serious or not, I don’t think any of us will ever know for sure. Of course, I’ve asked him, but why would he give me the right answer?

  • Ashleigh April 21, 2016, 6:16 am | Link

    Bro, there is not A SINGLE university in Aus which is free. It’s a similar system to the US and UK, you have to pay thousands of $ in tuition, but you take out a HECS loan from the government, once you earn a certain amount then it’s automatically taken out of your wage. It’s not cheap like American universities. A cheap Bachelor of Arts can easily go over $30 000 and this is at a public not well ranked university in the Brisbane suburbs. If you go to a higher ranked one, say in the top 10 in the country, or a private one, expect to rack up a looooot more. This is just in the social sciences – one of the cheapest degrees, business, engineering, environmental science and even education can be a loooot more. The highest I’ve heard of is an aviation student having to pay $120 000 for his bachelor at a not well known university in the forest, imagine if it was ANU. And a masters degree? expect around $20 000 or more for just a year of study at any university.

    The rape thing as well depends on the university location and they don’t usually occur on campus but near the university as they walk home – day or night. This is generally because there are a lot of nature trails (that may be shortcuts home) but due to Australia’s small population they are not as frequently visited as a foreigner may assume so all sorts of things happen (also where many murders occur). Universities are often proudly beside national parks if they have quality environmental studies or want to be seen as a ecological uni. Others in the city could be near bad areas of cities, such as the University of Sydney is next to Redfern (not the safest area). The uni’s themselves have security guards and cameras, and tend to be safe at night (idk what happens if you walk around at 3am though, but why would you want to?).

    As for schooling children, yeah thats free, but you still have to pay for the manditory uniforms, text books, sometimes computers, and general school fees for the use of equipment in certain classes, such as cooking equipment or wool for sewing in home economics or the borrowing of equipment for sports.

    And I don’t know where this Fred guy lived, but while he’s right about our medical system being a bit weird (but quite similar to Europe), and yes you will have to wait all night in the ER if you have a headache or a cold (because this is a waste of time for doctors when you can take paracetamol), but a broken leg or painful chest will be seen within the hour, our medical facilities, experience and level of care is among the best in the world, and I encourage anyone worried about medical treatment to not worry about this, they are legit super professional, have painfully high standards for nurses and doctors, and are usually up to date with the latest technology. This of course costs you a lot (and I mean A LOT), but its very high quality.

    Teenagers attacking people? yeah so this happens in the lowest socioeconomic suburbs where teens dont finish school, have bad parents and have a drug addiction and a couple of kids before their 16th birthday, but this is an extremely small percentage and is anything but the norm. Where on Earth did this Fred guy live? The most bogan area’s of the country? Teens are more likely to help elders cross the street than push them. And yeah some of these teenagers do get money from the government, the ones in poorer households, and its a very small amount, which many parents expect them to pay rent and public transport (super expensive) with, or the parents just steal it.

    the comment about the people being aggressive and wanting a fight, dont even get me started, I ask again, did he live in the most bogan community in the country. Australians are big teddy bears, unless they’re drunk.

    The housing? again, did he live in the land of bogan?

    The gas thing is legit….if you don’t live in a city, which majority of the population do, while our train and bus infrastructure sucks, we have a large widely used, frequent and successful plane network. Otherwise yeah this point is right

    The one about the pests is dead on too, though in winter there is some respite unless you live in the north.

    and man the UV thing, you get burnt walking 10 minutes to the bus stop or train station, that sun is no joke, stay at home.

    Life is horribly expensive… you get a good wage compared to other countries, but for the cost of living its not enough. Australia is a country where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer or leave.

  • Prab April 20, 2016, 12:32 am | Link

    It’s been a year since my arrival here. I arrived here with a job and have jumped to another even without a residency at the time.
    I like how Australians play it down in general.
    What am happy with and what really bothers me?
    I’m happy with the culture of exchanging ideas on what to do over the weekend or how to barbecue the meat. I love it whenever we all have drinks and chill out. I love the nude beaches. I love it when people use gender neutral language such as partner instead of wife/husband. I love the way people give importance to fitness. Just because there’s free health care doesn’t mean that people eat away high calorie food. In fact, it’s the contrary. Free health care promotes people to be healthier. The environment is more collaborative than competitive. People have never asked me what religion I follow, which is a very common question asked in America.

    What I don’t like?
    A colleague told me he found a house in a certain suburb. I asked him if the owner was Asian. Instead of saying that the owner is Caucasian, he told me that the owner was Oz. This mentality of tagging Oz as Caucasian is what most people are insensitive about. Now, don’t ask me why I asked if his owner was Asian!
    The cost of healthy products are much higher than unhealthy ones.
    If an article is spreading on social media about the benefits of avocado, then the immediate effect of that would be a rise in the prices – $4/avo. Similarly, gluten free food is expensive. Really, the government must either control such pricing or provide a tax benefit for us not burdening the healthcare system. I struggle to understand why healthy goods are highest priced. I’d argue the contrary. If unhealthy food is priced high, then everyone eats healthy food and overall burden on healthcare will be reduced, eventually phasing out unhealthy food from the markets. Just akin to how cigarettes are priced high.

    The quality of life is bonza.

    Overall, I love Oz and am waiting to become a proud citizen.

  • Emily Schinella April 16, 2016, 10:15 pm | Link

    Our healthcare is bad? Please! Go see how great America’s is.

    • BobinOz April 18, 2016, 5:28 pm | Link

      Very true, I’ve been most impressed with the Australian health care system since I’ve been here.

  • laloli April 13, 2016, 8:58 pm | Link

    Baaad, bad people, you say two kinds; in other words: mooslims & arabs. BOOH-YAAAAHHHH! 😛

    PS: ” visit Fred’s blog”… yet fails to hyperlink it anywhere these words are typed.
    LMAO.. LAME-O!!

    • BobinOz April 14, 2016, 12:00 am | Link

      If only you had read the update, then maybe you wouldn’t have made such a fool of yourself.

  • Yogesh March 26, 2016, 7:48 pm | Link

    After staying in Australia for 2 years… I have a few observations. This is just my personal opinion and experience. These points may not be applicable for others.

    1. Insisting on Local Work Experience: I have Aussie companies insisting that applicants need to have Local Aussie Experience. If the applicant is a migrant, then this is discriminatory and not practical. Its a vicious cycle. If they do not give migrants a job… then how on earth you will have local experience. A bit funny in today’s globalized world.

    2. Selective Law Enforcement: Police and other law enforcement agencies, tend to avoid any kind of interaction with people of certain religious and regional background. (I will live the group and their names to reader’s intelligence). Even if the culprit is a habitual offender, police turn a blind eye.

    3. Super-expensive Child Care: Most young families… who are in their late 20s, early and mid 30s… have to spend nearly 25% of their earnings on child care. This punches a big hole in their finances for 4 to 5 years per child per family. Government need to start consultative discussions with all stakeholders and ensure child care cost is brought down.

    4. Ultra-Expensive Housing: The housing cost is out of reach for most families. If you are single earning household, then it is really difficult even a buy a 2-bed unit. Real Estate in Sydney and Melbourne is too hot… because of overseas investors who buy Aussie real estate by looking at the property on Skype. I don’t call them investors, I call them Speculators.

    5. Restaurant food is Good, but again expensive: The quality of restaurant in Oz is really good, but again expensive mainly because of expensive real estate, rents and then minimum wage rule implementation.

    I have only highlighted points affecting average individuals… Hopefully I will learn more about this beautiful country.

    • BobinOz March 29, 2016, 5:20 pm | Link

      Interesting points, here’s my view.

      1. Yes, I’ve heard of this, but it also seems to me that once somebody has landed that first job and got the local work experience, then they find it much easier to find further jobs later on. So I don’t think it’s racism, I think it is genuinely that a lot of employers prefer to see local work experience. Some don’t care though, and that’s where you can get a step up on the ladder.

      2. I’m not really aware of this and I haven’t seen any examples of what you’re talking about.

      3. The figures you mention seem extremely high to me, but again I have no experience, we have not needed to put our daughter into childcare.

      4. Yes, foreign investment is a bit of a problem particularly in Sydney and Melbourne and it has driven up prices. I’m in Brisbane though, I find housing cost here on a par with the UK and you certainly get a much bigger house for your money than you could ever get in England. I think the problem you mention is pretty much restricted to selected areas of Sydney and Melbourne.

      5. I recently had a holiday in the US and eating out in restaurants was dearer there than it is here in Australia, mostly because in the US it’s rude not to tip at least 20% where as here in Australia tipping just isn’t a thing.

      Sounds to me from your final sentence that you have maybe not been here very long, I do know that some things including prices can seem a bit of a shellshock when you first arrive, they certainly did for me. Then, when you adjust, and realise that earnings potential is much higher here and that some things are cheaper, you realise it all works out.

      Good luck, Bob

  • Moto man March 8, 2016, 5:45 pm | Link

    That’s all a lie Australia is a Beautiful Country the land of the free home of the Great barrier Reef much more this is just a Another bunch of bull you fine on the Internet

    • BobinOz March 8, 2016, 8:32 pm | Link

      Correct.

    • laloli April 13, 2016, 9:01 pm | Link

      Seriously, bitch! ” land of the free home of the Great ” hey bitch! That’s USA!
      BOOH-YAAAAHHHH! 😛

      HA!HA! Envy much)? 🙂

      • BobinOz April 14, 2016, 12:15 am | Link

        What an amazing misquote, he didn’t say home of the great, he said “home of the Great Barrier Reef” which is, of course, absolutely correct. I’ve changed my mind since my response to your other comment above, you really are quite capable of making a fool of yourself under all kinds of circumstances. Congratulations.

  • paige March 7, 2016, 2:08 pm | Link

    LIES I TELL YOU LIES

    • BobinOz March 7, 2016, 5:30 pm | Link

      That really should have had a comma in there somewhere, just to make the meaning clear. Otherwise it could be:

      Lies, I tell you lies

      Or

      Lies I tell you, lies

      🙂

  • Nhi vu February 21, 2016, 12:06 pm | Link

    I came to Melbourne when i was 15, as my father wanted. i studied high school here which somewhat brought good and bad experiences for me. i made friends with some asian backgrounds students and other overseas students, they are really nice, but i felt uncomfortable with the local students, they are very rude and somewhat do not know how to respect others, especially with the teachers. I’m currently studying at Uni in the degree that my family want me to study and have a chance to STAY in this country, and i really hate it.
    Now i really regret that i did not argue with my family about their decision of sending me here. I wanna go back home, I feel tired and depressed. This country is not where i belong, I am a stranger here.

    • BobinOz February 22, 2016, 6:41 pm | Link

      Australia doesn’t suit everybody, and it’s never too late to start that argument with your family about their decision. If you’re depressed and unhappy here, then you need to do something about it.

      Tell your parents that you want to live YOUR life, not the life they want you to live. You can do it 🙂 good luck, Bob

    • max tierney April 21, 2016, 5:56 pm | Link

      Nhi vu
      I feel so sorry for you, I feel that you may be to young to away from your family, If I could suggest one thing, that would be to shift in with an australian family till your studies are complete.
      Its OK to be homesick but do not allow that to blind your eyes to what is really here and to judge our community

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